A McIntosh Through and Through

Something from the tackle box:

      Every year Jesus’ parents went to Jerusalem for the Passover.  And when Jesus was twelve years old, they all went there as usual for the celebration….  Three days later they found Jesus sitting in the temple, listening to the teachers and asking them questions.  Every one who heard him was surprised at how much he knew and at the answers he gave. (Luke 2:41-42, 46-47 CEV)

       If you read the story that I posted this past April titled, ‘A Cribbage Club Fishing Story,’ you know that not all my fishing stories are the product of my own memory and imagination.  I am perfectly willing to write up a story given me by another person, and give them credit for it to boot!  Here is another story that I heard from the same person who gave me the tale I just mentioned, Heather Prater.  Again, this tale was related to me while sitting across a cribbage board at our Monday afternoon Church Basement Cribbage Club gathering.  As before, I’ll do my best to relate it as I heard it.

       After the cut, as I’m dealing out the first hand of the game, Heather says, “Hey, Pastor, I’ve got another good family fishing story for ya, if you care to listen to it.”

       “Of course I want to hear it,” I replied.  “If it’s as good as your last one I’ll post it on my blog site, just like I did before.  That story about your uncle Joe got over fifty hits, and those are pretty good numbers for my sorry little blog.”

       “Oh, come on now!”

       “No, really, let me hear it….  Wait a minute.  This isn’t another story about your Uncle Joe is it?”

       “Noooo,… but he was there for this one!” 

       “Well, go on then.”

       “Well, last weekend,” She started, “the family and I were up in Gladwin County for the McIntosh family reunion.  We have one every summer up there.”

       “Is it a big gathering?” I broke in.

"seems better for coolin' than catchin' today"

       “Oh yeah!  There’s always a hundred or more family members that show up for it.  We hold it at my cousin Michelle’s house every year.  She’s got a big place right on the Cedar River up there. 

       “Anyway, my cousin Roger is there with his nine-year-old grandson, Cody.  Now Cody has got a brand new fishing rod with him that Grandpa had promised to teach him how to rig ups and fish with, and Cody is pretty excited about it because fishing is a big deal in the McIntosh clan, as you know.

       “The thing is, Michelle’s place is pretty far up on the Cedar River, and it’s not much more than a little stream where it runs by her place.  And, on top of that, with all the rain we’ve had lately it was a pretty blown out muddy little stream last weekend.  So, being the fishing folk that we all are, everyone is telling Cody not to get his hopes up too high.  In fact, we’re all telling him that it might be better to wait and have Grandpa teach him how to set up his new rod some other time, at some other place, where he’ll have a decent chance of catching something on his first try with it.  But, as you can guess, Cody is having none of that!  He and Grandpa are going to do some fishing, and that is that!  So off they go to fish. 

       “Now they’ve got cousin Ann in tow because,…. well,…. she’s a McIntosh through and through.  Ann is probably… No, let me say that without a doubt, Ann is the biggest fishing nut in the whole family.  She just loves to fish, fishes all the time, and she pretty much figures that she knows as much or more about fishing than anyone else in the McIntosh clan, which is saying a lot.  And, to tell the truth, she probably does!  So, she just had to go and watch this expedition, providing expert advice at every step of the process, even though she’d been one of the biggest naysayer of all to the idea of them trying to catch anything in that muddy old mess of a creek right now in the first place.  Which opinion, by the way, she continued to express while Roger was showing Cody how to rig up and cast with his new spinning tackle.

ann just can't believe it!

       “Well, wouldn’t ya know it, they start fishing and on Cody’s very first cast into that soupy old stream with his brand new rod, he hooks into a fish that starts jumping around and splashing all over the place as he cranks it in.  It turns out to be a nice, thirteen inch long trout!”

       “That’s amazing!” I cut back in.  “What a great story!  If I dress it up a bit I can sure use that one on my blog.”

       “Oh,…. it’s not over yet!” she continues, “The best is yet to come! 

       “As you might expect, Cody is so thrilled with his catch that he unhooks the fish and runs off with it to make sure that every single person at the reunion gets a chance to see what he just caught.  And, when he runs off, he leaves his rod just lying there on the grass by the river.  Well, cousin Ann, who’s just standing there, shaking her head in disbelief at Cody’s luck, decides to pick up the abandoned rod and try fishing for herself.  After all, highly experienced fisher-woman that she is, she’s got a reputation to uphold.  She’s not going to let herself be out-fished by a nine-year-old kid without taking her own shot at the spotlight!  So she starts fishing right then and there… with Cody’s new rod. 

ann takes her shot

       “Of course, once every McIntosh on the place has had the opportunity to see Cody’s trout and make a big fuss over his great catch, he comes back to the river bank to fish some more.  And when he does, what does he find but cousin Ann fishing with his brand new tackle!  Well, he watches her make one cast, walks right over, grabs the rod right out of her hands and says, ‘Here!  Let ME show you how to do it Cousin Ann!’  And that’s when everyone around just busted out laughing!”

       At this point in the story I’m chuckling pretty hard myself. 

       “Well,” I said, “I guess young Cody proved himself to be a McIntosh through and through at the family reunion this year!”

       “He sure ‘nuff did!” Heather replied, “And I’ve got the pictures right here on my phone to prove it,… if you want to see ‘em!”

       I sure ‘nuff did!

Something to take home in your creel:

       To have gained genuine wisdom and understanding about any subject is a noble attribute.  To pass on your wisdom and understanding to others is a noble undertaking.  Just remember this:  HOW you go about imparting your knowledge and understanding to others will be what determines how noble you are perceived to be in doing so. 

       Years ago, I was given an alternate definition for the word, “EXPERT.”  I was told, that to be properly understood, the word needed to first be divided into the two conjoined words of which it is composed.  The first part of the word is, “Ex,” which is the spoken representation of the algebraic symbol, X.  In mathematics, X always represents an unknown factor, as it does in this case as well.  The second part of the word is, “spurt,” which is nothing more than an apt description for a drip subjected to pressure.  Put these two definitions together and you’ve got an expert.

       As I have grown older, I’ve learned the hard way to keep this useful insight in mind when practicing my profession as a pastor, preacher and spiritual director.  I also try to keep it in mind when teaching or advising others about any leisurely pursuit that I may know a bit about, of which cribbage and fishing are two prime examples.  This habit has, I am quite certain, saved me from more than a few embarrassments over these later years of my life, if not the earlier.

       It is certainly good to know things. It is far better to be educated than to be ignorant.  Education is a virtue and willful ignorance is a sin.  So, if something interests you, learn everything that you can about it, be it theology, fishing, or any other thing worth learning about.  And, when you seek your knowledge, try to learn from genuine experts if you can, people who really do know what they’re talking about when they teach you something.  You will be glad that you did. 

       Who knows, if you learn enough, you may become an expert yourself.  That is not a bad thing.  In fact, it is a very good thing.  Just remember, O wisdom filled expert angler that you have become, that pride still goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall. 

“Away to me, Rex!”

Something from the tackle box:

       So the Lord took some soil and made animals and birds.  He brought them to the man to see what names he would give each of them.  Then the man named the tame animals and the birds and the wild animals.  That’s how they got their names.  None of these was the right kind of partner for the man.  (Genesis 2:19-20 CEV)

       Last week, as I was getting into bed on Friday evening, I told my wife that I planned to get up early, before dawn, and go check out my favorite spot on my favorite trout stream, just to see if it was fishable yet.  The end of spring has been very wet around here, and Tinker’s Creek has mostly been too high and muddy for fishing of late.  Kathy said that she thought my plans were a good idea, as we’d had a few dry days in a row, and I’m easier to live with when I can get in some fishing.  She then rolled over, turned off her reading light, fluffed her pillow and settled down for some sleep.  I did the same.  That’s when we heard the first rumbles of approaching thunder, and the first of many raindrops to come pelting the roof above our heads.

       On awaking in the morning, I decided to continue on with my stated plans of the night before, despite the rain.  I’d fallen off to sleep quickly, and slept well, and I didn’t know how long or hard the rain had lasted.  A little sprinkle might not have hurt much.  Wishful thinking. 

       The wet roads and dripping scenery all along the fifteen-minute drive to Tinker’s Creek didn’t encourage me.  But, as I was on the way, why stop before seeing for myself?  Well, seeing for myself put the question to rest.  Even the easiest spot to get into Tinker’s Creek, equipped with wooden steps installed by the local Trout Unlimited Chapter, showed water that I would have judged to be near the top of my hip-boots, if one can accurately judge the depth of churning chocolate milk.  Oh well, nothing to do for it but to get back in the car and head to town for an early breakfast.  So that is what I did.

       But, as I was slowing down to make the turn onto 4^th Avenue, just a block from my house, the thought crossed my mind to continue on down M50 and check out the water by the Veteran’s Memorial Chapel on the east end of Jordan Lake.  It’s a good spot, where I like to fly-fish for bluegills and bass early in the season, before the algae blooms take over the shallows in the summer months.  When I had last looked at it, just a week earlier, the top was already starting to get a bit too green for my taste.  I had figured then that I wouldn’t be back to fish there until September, when things would likely have cleared up a bit, but what harm could it do to look at it again this morning?

       To my surprise and delight, that water didn’t look that bad.  Maybe the rain had knocked the scum down to the bottom, or broken it up for an easterly breeze to push over to the other side of the lake.  Either way, I could fish without spending more time cleaning my line than casting it.  The sun had just risen to a full red orb above the horizon and I could see, from expanding ring on the water’s surface around a couple of nearby weed banks, that the morning feed was underway.   I quickly put on my gear and waded out.

       Just four steps out from the bank I could reach the edge of the nearest clump of weeds, just to the south of me, where I could see some activity in the water.  My second cast to the near edge of the weeds resulted in a hit and I hauled in a nice hand-sized bluegill.  As I was putting this first catch into my creel, I noticed a much larger rise just a few feet to the left of where I’d hooked my first fish.  Undoubtedly, a good-sized bass was prowling this weed bed too. 

       My first fish stowed away, I immediately started casting to the bigger splash I’d just seen.  Most of the bass I catch down by the chapel are undersized, which doesn’t really matter to me, as I don’t keep bass that I catch, legal sized or not.  Bluegills are better on the plate and I don’t mind leaving the legal bass for others to take home if they want them.  That being said, I do enjoy catching bass.  I enjoy catching those athletic fighters very much!  Especially if it’s on a lightweight fly rod, like I was handling now. 

       Just a few casts in the area of the rise I’d seen brought the results I was hoping for.  A violent splash an my slender, nine foot long, #3 weight rod bent over in a deep bow.  I had all I could do to keep the fish steered away from the heavy weeds he was ambushing from, without his breaking my line off, but I managed to do it.  It was a good fight, and long one on that light tackle.  I had to give him line several times.  Thankfully, doing so didn’t allow him to get into too much cover and, just as thankfully, he always allowed me to get my line back soon after.  He also came up top and jumped clean out of the water four different times in the tussle, which is a lot of jumping even for a big bass.  But, despite all his aerial acrobatics, he was never able to shake off the little yellow popper I had him hooked on.

       Finally spent, he let me get his head up out of the water at my feet just enough that I could get my thumb in his mouth and pick him up.  I’ll not lie, he was no great lunker of a bass, but he was easily a couple of inches over a foot long, and every inch of him had been energetic fight, let me tell you.  But now he was tired.  The popper removed from his jaw, I lowered him into the water and held him upright while he worked his gill covers in and out, breathing deeply for a while.  Finally, when he gave a solid shake of his tail on his own, I let him go.  He then swam lazily around both of my ankles and parked then himself, right next to the outside edge of my right foot, to rest for a while longer. 

       This phenomenon may seem strange to the non-fisherman, and I’ll admit that it is not the normal behavior of a released fish, but it is not unheard of.  I can recall many of my released fish hanging around close by, taking a breather, before moving off after being let go.  But I have never had one settle down right next to my foot, his side actually rubbing up against my ankle, as he held his place for a spell.  I smiled at this anomaly in fish behavior and returned my attention to the fishing at hand. 

       Another few casts brought another strike near the weed bed.  I pulled in my second keeper sized bluegill and, while packing it away, noticed that the bass I’d caught was still at me feet.  The old boy was experiencing a long recovery, to be sure.  Another minute or two brought a third “eater” into my creel, and the bass was still there, holding at my heel like a well-trained dog!  This was becoming remarkable.  So I remarked.

       “So, down there, - are you a bass, - or are you a dogfish?”

       He did not answer, but held his place just alongside my right foot. 

       “If a dogfish you be, then I think I shall name you Rex, if that will do.  And you shall be a working dogfish, rounding up and penning panfish into my creel.  Understood?”

       Again, no response from my piscis companion of the moment was forthcoming, but neither did he move off in protest to my suggestions.  So I gave him his first working dogfish command.

       “Away to me, Rex!”

       With that, he darted off quickly in the direction of the weed bed where I’d hooked all of my morning catch so far.  I smiled at the coincidence in this sequence of events and figured that was that.  He was gone.  As a salute I made my nest cast in the general direction he had taken in leaving me.  Well, imagine my astonishment when I caught three keeper bluegills on my next three consecutive casts to that spot.  If you can, it was nothing compared to my astonishment when, just after dropping that last ‘gill into my creel, I saw Rex, ambling back out of the weeds towards me at a leisurely pace, dorsal fin cresting the surface of the water.  I stood there, mouth gaping, as Rex circled my ankles once and then came to rest alongside my right foot again!  This was more than remarkable.  This was becoming phenomenal!

       “Well done, old boy.” I said, and again gave the command, “Now, away to me, Rex!” 

       Again, the fish-herding bass darted off quickly from my heel, this time in the direction of the lily pads along the bank to my left.  I had to move a dozen paces or so in that direction to reach them with a cast, but you can bet your bottom dollar that I did just that.  Doing so, I was soon rewarded with another three meaty bluegills for my larder in a very short amount of time.  And then, just as before, Rex returned to heel as the last was being pocketed.  As he did so this second time, I knew in my heart that this could not go on.

       “That will do, Rex.  You’re a good boy.  I would take you home with me now if I could, but you must live IN this lake, while I cannot.  Away to your own home then, Rex, as I go off to mine.” 

       And with that, he swam off. 

       Still in amazement, I tuned around, waded out, packed up and drove home.  I had my nine nice bluegills filleted and ready for the frying pan before Kathy came home from helping out with a few chores at her mother’s house that morning.  I did not know how to tell her the details of my morning’s expedition.  At least not without risking her looking at me with that blank stare that one gives to the four-year-old who, with crumbs still on his chin, has just told you that a monster ate the cookies.  And so I didn’t tell her.  I simply said, “I caught some nice fish this morning, let’s have them for lunch.” 

       And we did have them for lunch.  They were very good.  I ate them with a silly smile on my face. 

Something to take home in your creel:

       While I have given you this story just for the fun of it, believe it or not, this is not one of my fiction stories.  Well, at least it is not totally fictitious.  It is based on the actual circumstances, as I experienced them, of an outing I had on the morning of June 24 of this year. 

       OKAY!  Yes!  I admit that I have stretched some of the details of this adventure just a wee bit.  I have always understood that to be any fisherman’s prerogative, if not his bounden duty.  And, as my grandpa Carr always used to say, “Any story worth telling is worth embellishing,” an adage that I find myself in deeper agreement with the older I get, just as did he. 

       This all being said, there is also a good dose of truth in the tale I’ve set out for you here.  Really!  While the words and commands I spoke to the dog-fish in this story are an addition to the facts of what actually happened, the sequence of events set out is nearer the truth than most readers would be willing to accept, even without the conversational embellishments I’ve added.  Knowing this full well, I must accept and allow for it.  If I am to be held as a fibber, it might as well be for a story that is startlingly fantastic in all of its details, as for another which is merely unbelievable in its facts.  Please do forgive me for that indulgence on my part.  I hope you have enjoyed my story, all the more so, nonetheless. 

Panfish Pie!

Something from the tackle box:

       The people started crying when God’s law was read to them.  Then Nehemiah the governor, Ezra the priest and teacher, and the Levites who had been teaching the people all said, “This is a special day for the Lord your God.  So don’t be sad and don’t cry!”

       Nehemiah told the people, “Enjoy your good food and wine and share some with those who didn’t have anything to bring.  Don’t be sad!  This is a special day for the Lord, and he will make you happy and strong.”

       The Levites encouraged the people by saying, “This is a sacred day, so don’t worry or mourn!”  When the people returned to their homes, they celebrated by eating and drinking and by sharing their food with those in need, because they had understood what had been read to them. 

a light catch for an evening on jordan lake

        When it comes to the trout and bass that I go after, be it with a fly rod or spinning tackle, I am a dedicated practitioner of ‘catch and release’ fishing.  However, I am very much a ‘pot’ fisherman when I am in pursuit of panfish.  Bluegills, sunfish, perch, and crappies, if they are at least six inches long, are consigned to the creel, stringer, bucket, fish cage, or live well, as the particular fishing circumstances may dictate.  They have an imposed appointment to keep with the three ‘F’s, fillet knife, freezer, and frying pan. 

done up just the way I like them

       I like panfish.  I like them rolled in cracker-meal and pan-fried golden brown, served with a little tartar sauce, and fresh steamed vegetables on the side. It is a delicious repast to experience, and I am blessed by the fact that my wife likes them prepared this way too!  When the fishing has been good, we eat very well. 

       We also like sharing this favorite feast with others whenever the fishing has been better than good and we have a bountiful supply of panfish fillets on hand to share, which happens fairly often here in the Water Winter Wonderland in which we live.  A good number of friends, family, neighbors and parishioners can all attest to just how good Kathy’s pan-fried panfish really are. 

       That all being said, not everyone is a big fish-eater, and not every fish-eater is as an enthusiastic fried fish eater as I am.  Take my son, Nate, his wife, Tracy, and the three grands, Nolan, Gwen and Lydia.  They’ve done the pan-fried panfish thing a good number of times at our house over the years, and while there have never been any complaints, the last fish dinner did elicit a comment from my son that motivated me to undertake the culinary adventure I am about to relate. 

       “Wow, that sure was good, Mom, as always.  But ya know, Dad, you ought to check out some other recipes for your bluegills.  Just for a little variety, ya know.  Maybe something broiled or baked, with a glaze or something.  That would be good.”

       Now, I’m thinking; What kind of heresy is this!?...  Well… I can take a hint… better than most... I guess… Well… I CAN take a hint… even if it stings… just a little bit.

      But I’m saying;  “Sure, son.  That sounds like a good idea.  I’ll look into it,” as I put the whole idea on the furthest back burner of my mind, where it would simmer without too much attention for almost a year.  And the notion didn’t really come off that back burner until just a few weeks ago, when I was up at the cottage for a few days with a friend, teaching him the basics of how to use a fly rod on the waters of Long Lake. 

       I’ve known Wayne Johnson for over a dozen years now.  We’ve spent many weekends together, along with other men involved in an organization called ‘Keryx Prison Ministries,’ doing volunteer work at one of our State’s Department of Corrections facilities.  Our friendship became even closer when, a couple of years ago, Wayne told me that he would really like to go fishing with me sometime, and maybe even learn how to use a fly rod like I was always talking about.  Well, it took a while, but earlier this spring we did just that.  While the fishing was lousy, the gills and bass not having come up into the shallows to bed yet, Wayne did make some very good progress in learning the basics of fly casting.  I doubt that he will need much more of my dubious instruction when we go up again later this summer and, hopefully, get some fish. 

       Anyway, getting back to the subject at hand, during one of our mealtime conversations at the cottage, Wayne brought up a fish dish that he had tried, and liked very much, while on a yearlong job assignment in England, Fish Pie.  Being an Anglophile, that rare American who actually appreciates traditional British cuisine, I was interested.  I’ve eaten a lot of fish & chips on my several trips to the British Isles over the years, but never a fish pie.  He told me that it was a lot like a shepherd’s pie, but with fish and a cream sauce in place of the red meat and gravy that is found in the traditional British meat pie.  I asked Wayne if he had the recipe, and, if so, would he send it to me?  He said, “yes,” on both counts. 

       I am currently in possession of the aforementioned document, which I now lay out for your perusal.  A few conversions have been made to translate British usages into American equivalents (Celsius to Fahrenheit, grams to ounces, that sort of thing) and I’ve substituted heavy whipping cream for double cream, which is a tad bit fattier than whipping cream, but also, sadly, unavailable here. 

Small boneless fish fillets       1 lb.

Spinach                                        2 handfuls

Potatoes                                       4 large

Onion                                            1

Carrot                                           1

Eggs                                               2

Heavy Whipping Cream          8 oz.

Cheese (sharp cheddar)          2 handfuls

Lemon                                           juice of 1

Dry mustard                                1 tsp

Parsley (flat)                               2 tbsps

Some olive oil

Other seasonings as desired

       Cut potatoes into chunks and boil for 2 minutes.  Add the eggs and boil for 8 minutes.  Put the spinach into a steamer and steam for 1 minute.  All this can be done in one pan.  Remove spinach, squeeze out the water and chop.  Shell eggs and cut into slices.  Mash potatoes. 

       Meanwhile, chop onion and carrot.  Fry both together in olive oil for 5 minutes.  Then add cream, mustard, lemon juice and parsley to onion and carrot, mix off the heat. 

       Lay out fish fillets in buttered casserole dish or large pie pan.  Top the fish with the cream mixture, egg slices, spinach, and most of the cheese.  Then layer on the mashed potatoes and rest of the cheese.  Bake in oven at 400 F for 25/30 minutes.

This is the basic recipe.  Variations can include different type of fish, or even shellfish, sweet and ordinary potatoes mixed, additional savory spices, etc.  The recipe above should serve 4/6 people.  If salad and sides are served it will be more than enough, as the pie is quite rich.

That is the recipe as I got it.  Now to try it out on some friends!  And here’s how it went. 

       My first victi,…. guinea p,…. dinner guests,… to try the new dish out on, were our good friends, Don and Tomi Jo.  Kathy and I have shared many meals together with Don and Tomi at one another’s homes over the last several years, and I knew I could count on them to be both gracious and honest in their assessment of the results of this experiment, as we have with a few of theirs. 

       As it turned out, the date we chose for the panfish pie feast developed into a very busy day for my sweetheart with her job at the community college.  An early afternoon call home let me know that she wouldn’t be home until right around the time we had told our guests that dinner would be served, 6:30 p.m.  I would be on my own in getting everything ready and on the table.  So be it!

       I had all the ingredients on hand and ready, and at 4:30 the prep work began.  Tater’s chopped and in the pot to boil.  Add the eggs and boil some more.  Steam that spinach.  Remove and chop drained spinach.  Take eggs and potatoes off the heat.  Chop and fry onion and carrot.  Add cream, mustard and lemon juice.  Butter dish and lay in fish.  Cover with creamed onion/carrot.  Hardboiled egg slices.  Lots of cheese.  Cover with potato. – DRAT! – I forgot the spinach!  To late now – toss spinach in the garbage.  Cover potatoes with a little more cheese and wait until six to pop it in the oven.  Whew!

       Kathy got home just about five minutes before the timer went off.  Tomi Jo and Don were soon there and ready to eat.  Grace is said and we dig in.

Comments and assessments:

ready for the table

       “Not too bad.”

       “Better than I thought it would be.”

       “The cream sauce in it really works.”

       “Good job, Mark.”

       “Would be better with the spinach in there, though.”

       “Yeah, I know.  That was my mistake.  Next time.”

       “Could use more spices too.”

       “All I put in was the dry mustard the recipe called for.  Some salt and pepper would help, wouldn’t it?”

       “Yeah, but I was thinking more like some Thyme.”

       “Or some Dill Weed.”

       “That’s it!  It needs Dill Weed!”

       “What about some curry powder or Cajun spice?”

       “For and English dish?  No way!  Dill weed is what it needs.”

       “That or a little Thyme,…. or both.”

       “Is it worth making again,… for Tracy, Nate and the kids,.. would they eat it?”

       “Oh, sure!... I think.”

       “Ok,”

       “I still like my pan-fried panfish better.”

       “Me too.”

      

Something to take home in your creel:

       It’s good to try new things.  And this really was a pretty good meal, if I do say so myself. Heated up leftovers for lunch the next day were even better.  English Panfish Pie will be made again in the Jarvie kitchen, and served to our guests who have expressed a desire to eat my catch in something other than a pan-fried condition.  As for Kathy and I,…. well,… we aren’t throwing out any boxes of McCormick’s Cracker Meal just yet! 

Heaven Is Like….

Something from the tackle box:

       Jesus then told them this story:  The kingdom of heaven is like what happened when a farmer scattered good seed in a field.  But while everyone was sleeping, an enemy came and scattered weed seeds in the field then left.

       When the plants came up and began to ripen, the farmer’s servants could see the weeds.  The servants came and asked, “Sir, didn’t you scatter good seed in your field?  Where did these weeds come from?” 

       “An enemy did this,” he replied. 

       His servants then asked, “Do you want us to go out and pull up the weeds?”

       “No!” he answered.  “You might also pull up the wheat.  Leave the weeds alone until harvest time.  Then I’ll tell my workers to gather the weeds and tie them up and burn them.  But I’ll have them store the wheat in my barn.” (Matthew 13:24-30 CEV)

       There once was an old trout fisherman named Mack.  A regular trout bum, actually.  Old Mac had spent a good portion of his life exploring the many trout stream and ponds in his neck of the woods, and he had enjoyed that habit more than he enjoyed anything else in his whole life, a life in which he had been blessed with many good things besides his opportunities for trout fishing. 

       But Mack was old now, lying in a hospice bed, hanging on through the last days of a long battle with congestive heart failure.  It was hard to breath.  It was hard to do anything.  Even just lying there and waiting for the end was hard.  Mack wished that the stream of friends and family, all there to make their last farewells, would stop.  He hated having to focus his attention on anything, or anyone, other than the one thing that gave him any peace at all, the mental image of a trout at the end of a tight line, flashing through the ripples of a rocky stream.  He had known no pleasure greater than this in his whole life, and saw no good reason to let go of it now for other, lesser, consolations.  

       If Mack had any regrets about life, the only one he could think of was the fact that he never gotten out West for a guided tour of the high country trout streams, to fish for the big rainbows like he saw the happy fishermen on the covers of the fly fishing magazines holding.  That trip had been his dream.  But other parts of life had made demands on his time and resources that had kept him from that apex of existence.  ‘Oh well,’ he thought to himself, ‘maybe there would be some recompense for that injustice in the afterlife.’  And that was just about the last thought to pass through old Mack’s mind before he drifted off into his final mortal slumber. 

       Old Mack woke up and opened his eyes to a bright blue sunlight filled sky.  The few clouds he saw were of the little puffy, cotton-ball, variety.  The kind of clouds that only serve to remind you how generally wonderful the weather is whenever they blot out the sun for a brief few seconds, every once in a while, just long enough so that you notice and don’t take the sunshine for granted. 

       Mack sat up when he noticed the sound of running water coming to his consciousness.  Bringing his line of vision down from straight up, the first thing he saw was the range of mountaintops, stretching out across the horizon in front of him, as far as he could see in either direction.  The second thing he saw was the beautiful high country stream, rolling and bubbling around a rock-strewn bend, right at his feet.  The banks of the stream held some spruce and poplar, here and there, but there was plenty of room to work a fly rod if just a little bit of care was taken for where the backside of your cast was going.  The birds were singing, the wildflowers were blooming, it was Mack’s idea of heaven on earth. 

       Mack stood up when he heard the rustling sound of someone, or something, approaching.  Coming towards him, down a footpath that paralleled the bend in the stream running before him, Mack saw a tall, slender, “rugged outdoorsman” looking type.  The man’s Bean boots, Levi jeans, Carhartt jacket, and wide-brimmed Filson hat all looked sharp, broken in, but clean and well cared for, just like the man.  In his right hand the man carried what looked to be a classic split-bamboo fly rod, all rigged up with line and leader wound on an elegant looking click-and-paw reel, the kind of tackle old Mack would have given his eyeteeth for, that is if money hadn’t been a more convenient option in his life. 

       When the man stopped before him Mack could see there was embroidery above the left breast pocket on the man’s jacket, a bright yellow star logo.  Above the star it read; Highest Country Guide Service.  Below the star, in smaller letters; guiding where you never thought you’d get to.

       Mack looked up into the man’s face and was struck with the thought that it might be about the handsomest man he’d ever seen, a man that seemed neither young nor old, but perfectly mature.  The nose, straight and perfectly proportioned.  The eyes, bright steel gray, full of sparkle.  The mouth, as it smiled at Mack, showed brilliant white teeth, perfectly aligned.  The man’s whole continence seemed to glow with competency and a sure confidence in his calling. 

       The man spoke, “You must be Mack.  I’ve been sent here for you.  My name is…. Well, my friends just call me, ‘Bub,’ ….. so I guess you can too.”

       Mack’s heart glowed with warmth at the revelation that this fellow,… guide,… or angel,… or… whatever,… that ‘Bub’ was here for him.

       “Here.  This is for you,” continued the guide, as he handed Mack the rig he’d been carrying.  “Special made, just for you.  It should serve you well for what we’ve got planned for you.” 

       “Well.  What can I say?” replied Mack, as he accepted the tackle and tested its flex.  “My, this is as nice as any rod I’ve ever owned.  Maybe even nicer!”

       “We know.”

       “Thank you very much.”

       “You are very welcome.  Now,… let me explain how all this is going to work.  There are,… I’m afraid,… some very strict conditions attached to your sojourn with us here in Highest country… You see,… there was some debate as to just where we ought to take you when we got your resume.… To be quite honest,… some of the guides in my line of work thought you should get something,… well,…. a bit less comfortable than what you see here.  But, being a kindred soul to your former lifestyle, I prevailed upon the Service to let me bring you here… to this wonderful place…. on provision… that you follow my guidance to the letter.  Should you fail to do so, you will be immediately transferred to that other place my colleagues had in mind.  A place… much, much hotter than the perfect spring weather this place provides,… if you know what I mean.”

       “Oh yes!  I can imagine it’s no fun at all to catch trout that are already overcooked before you even hook them,… eh!” replied Mack, as he chuckled knowingly.... and smiled nervously.  “You can be assured that I will do just as you say until proven worthy.” 

       “Good!  Now here’s how it works.  MY responsibility is to look for rising trout in the stream winding off before us.  Whenever I spot one, I will point it out to you.  Then,… YOUR responsibility will be to make a cast to that rise, each and every time that I point one out… The trout will take care of the rest on their own… That’s it.  Every rise I spot for you… you MUST cast to,… OR this leg of your expedition will be over… and you will not like the next river you will be escorted to… at all… Lava makes for such poor fishing in comparison to what we have here…. Understood?” 

       “Absolutely.  You call ‘em and I try to catch ‘em, each and every time.  No problem!”

       “Good.  Then let’s get started, shall we?”

       Mack followed his guide through the low grasses and wildflowers down to the bank of the mountain stream where they positioned themselves, Bub standing just off to Mack’s left, giving him plenty of room to work his fly rod.  It was only seconds before the angelic guide spotted his first rising fish.

       “Look there!  Just under that spruce bough overhanging the opposite bank by that large rock.  There he is again!  Make a cast to him.”

       It was a bit further than Mack thought he was capable of making a cast but, fearing to violate the agreement before he had even started, he pulled line off the reel, rolled it out, made a couple of false casts to get it all in the air, then shot it across the stream in a perfect cast to a spot just upstream of the rock and overhanging spruce bough.  The little dry fly landed gently on the water and started its short drift right towards the spot where the fish had been rising.  The instant it came beneath the branch the fly disappeared in a splash.  Mack set the hook.  The fish dashed to the left six feet and made a nice jump.  It then tore off to the right, for about twelve feet, and made another jump.  It then fought its way back to the rock and bough, where it gave up and let Mack haul him in without further resistance.

       The guide stepped into the stream, unhooked the fish and picked it up for his charge to admire.  “Nice catch, Mack.  Looks like this rainbow runs right about thirteen inches, I’d say.”  He laid the fish gently back in the water and it immediately took off upstream in search of more peaceful feeding conditions. 

       “WOW!  That was fun!  This is more than I could have ever hoped for!  And to think, all I have to do is keep catching the fish you spot.  This is wonderful.”

       “I’m glad you think so, Mack.  I do work hard for living, but it’s as much a joy to me as it is to you.  Oh look!  Same spot as before!  Right underneath that spruce branch!  Get ‘em!”

       Mack looked and saw the rise for himself.  Just as he had the first time, he made a perfect cast to a spot just upstream of the rise.  He watched as the fly took the course it had before, right underneath the tree, where it was taken just as before.  Again, the fish dashed to the left and jumped, ran off to the right and jumped, fought back to its hole beneath the spruce, where it surrendered and was brought in.

       “Nice fish, Mack.  Looks like this rainbow runs right about thirteen inches, I’d say…. Oh look!  Same spot as before!  Right underneath that spruce branch!  Get ‘em!”

        Once again, the scene played out just as it had the first two times, and then again, and then again.  Each fish hooked beneath the branch.  Each hooked fish making a dash to the left and then jumping.  Each fish running off to the right and jumping once more.  Each fish fighting its way back to the rock, where each fish petered out and let itself be hauled in, just as each fish had done before. 

       After the thirteenth time Mack had listened to his guide say, “Nice catch, Mack.  Looks like this rainbow runs right about thirteen inches, I’d say,” he interrupted before the next rise could be spotted beneath the spruce bough by the big rock.

       “Say, Bub,… I am glad that I’m here with you.  Especially so, considering how close you say I came to being sent to that other place.  I do appreciate it,… and this is nice and all,… lots of fish,… but I really had imagined that the fishing… here in heaven… would be,… well,… how do I put it,…. would be more… interesting… Not quite so predictable, and,.. to be quite frank,… not quite so monotonously boring. 

       The angelic guide put the thirteenth trout back in the water, pulled a cigarette out of his jacket pocket and placed it between his lips.  He walked over to Mack, lit his smoke with a flame that shot out of the tip of his index finger, looked him in the eyes and said, “Now,… who in hell said anything… about this being heaven?” 

Something to take home in your creel:

       As a preacher, I’ve always liked stories about what the experience of dying and going to heaven, or even that other place, might be like.  Whether they are short jokes about stumping St. Peter with unexpected answers to his questions at the Pearly Gate, or longer allegorical stories, expressing deeper theological notions than getting a laugh from the notion of a new arrival who thinks that God’s name is ‘Andy.’ (“and he walks with me and he talks with me.”  Get it.)  I like them all, and many a good sermon illustration has come from the vast number of afterlife stories that are out there.  Silly or serious, pure imagination or scripture based, slightly heretical or ultra-orthodox, there are insights and lessons that can be gleaned from almost all of them, if one puts a thoughtful mind to the task. 

       The Christian tradition of telling allegorical stories about what getting into and experiencing the kingdom of heaven (or the agonies of hell) can be like, began with Jesus himself.  The Gospels contain a good number of them.  The Apostles set down more eternal life destination insights in several of the epistles and the book of Revelation.  In later centuries Bunyan would give us his ‘Pilgrim’s Progress,’ an allegory on getting there, and Dante his ‘Divine Comedy,’ an allegory about being there once you do get to wherever it is that you’re getting to.  One of my favorite books of the more recent past is C.S. Lewis’ ‘The Great Divorce.’  If you haven’t read it, you should.  As St. Paul writes, ‘If our hope in Christ is good only for this life, we are worse off than anyone else …… (1Corinthians 15:19 CEV)

       This little story of Mack and his guide, which I have offered you, is not my own.  It is merely my embellishment on an old chestnut of a tale, as story that has its roots sunk deep in storytelling history.  Versions of this story can be found which have used almost every human pursuit that can be loved more than God and neighbor, as the vehicle for its telling.  The version most often heard today tells of some poor fellow, pushed on by a fiendish caddy, doomed to the hell of hitting a hole-in-one on every link of a golf course that stretches on forever and ever. 

       Whatever version of the story is told, the lessons are always the same; Seek first the kingdom of God. Adopt His loving righteousness as your own standard of love.  Love the Lord with all your being.  Love your friends, family and neighbors, and even your enemies, as you love yourself.  Love them all even more than you love yourself when empowered by the Spirit of God to perform that miracle.  Do these things and you will be blessed by God with all the rest you could ever want, all given in due time, and all poured out in full measure, heaped up and overflowing.  For loving with that kind of love is just what the everlasting Kingdom of God consists of.